Funny News Headlines

14 06 2007

  1. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
  2. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  3. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  4. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  5. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
  6. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  7. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  8. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  9. Farmer Bill Dies in House
  10. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  11. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
  12. Stud Tires Out
  13. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  14. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  15. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
  16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
  17. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  18. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  19. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  20. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  21. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
  22. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  23. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  24. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  25. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  26. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  27. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  28. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
  29. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  30. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
  31. Include your Children when Baking Cookies
  32. War Dims Hope for Peace
  33. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  34. Eye Drops off Shelf
  35. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  36. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  37. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  38. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  39. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
  40. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  41. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  42. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
  43. Steals Clock, Faces Time
  44. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
  45. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  46. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
  47. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  48. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  49. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  50. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  51. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
  52. Air Head Fired
  53. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
  54. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  55. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

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Funny Stories in the News

13 06 2007

I came across some funny stories today on line, here are a few tidbits.

A Little Gas

A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde,
the Netherlands. The vet had been trying to convince a farmer
that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a “four-legged
flame-thrower” and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000. The cow was
unharmed. AP

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Anna Nicole Lives On!

21 05 2007

The spirit of our favourite tragically flawed celebrity Playmate, Anne Nicole Smith, lives on in 22 year old Kristin Georgi – who recently married 84 year old Joe Hardy (a wealthy lumber magnate) in a private ceremony in Las Vegas.  He is 62 years her senior, and well old enough to be her grandpapie. . .

I wonder what the bookie’s odds are when this old chappie will croak!??

I wonder what the prenup says. . .  . .

   

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Clogs Clog Medical Machinery. What a load of Croc!

20 04 2007

  

I came across this story from Sweden, apparently my FAVOURITE comfort shoes (Crocs) are interferring with medical equipement in the hospitals, and are now being banned.

 What is the world coming to, nooooooooo!

 I adore my Crocs (I have two pairs, one regular pair, and the Mary-Jane’s style).  They are bar-none the most comfortable pairs of shoes I own.  Every person should own at least one pair.

I don’t think the story is a Croc, but those that read by blog know how I enjoy a good play on words. . . . .

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Wear a White Ribbon for Virginia Tech Massacre Victims

17 04 2007

  

As a Canadian, and now someone who lives in Montreal – The White Ribbon Campaign is something we are all aware of, and take part in every year. The white ribbon campaign is specifically Men Againist Violence Aganist Woman.

This campaign was started in 1991 after the school masscare at Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal.  A lone gunman, Marc Lepine,  killed 14 woman before killing himself on December 6th, 1989.

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Are You SMARTER than a 5th Grader??? 5th-graders accused of sex in Louisiana school

7 04 2007

Late March I made an entry about a little daughter of one of my co-workers, she is six, and the little ‘sex’ song she came up with – read about it here.  That amuzed and worried me.. . . . then  I stumbbled across the below posted article, about 5th graders having sex in an unsupervised class room.

My jaw dropped, not only for the pure fact that its about 11 year old fornicating, but by how severe the penalities may be for these children.   Shocked yes, do I agree,  is it unfair.  I’m not sure.

I’m just shocked. I’m not sure how to wrap my head around it.  Problems of our kids are far more grave than they were when we were children.

When did sex become a “problem” for pre-teens?   Parents, have you had “the talk” with you teeny boppers?

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