Bob the Wealthy Widower

17 09 2007

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”

Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”

They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age”, Bob replies.

“What, did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”

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Traffic Songs

13 09 2007

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Recently I’ve started listening to my husband’s radio station “CHOM 97.7“, its a classic rock station and is quite a soft and mellow change from my normal listenings to one of CHOM’s sister stations with its barrage of new music, repeative riffs and bass-filled banging tunes. My ears have stopped ringing and I am finally hearing the music.

I spend a lot of time stuck in traffic, so people watching has become an afternoon hobby.

I have discovered over my time of Montreal traffic people watching that there is a secret society, a club if you will, among fellow “stuck in traffic-ers”. This club – similar to the Free Masons – is known, but never spoken of. Perhaps a fight club with out the fighting. (Just don’t tell Edward Norton I’ve broken the first law of fight club, please).

CHOM has shown me the light, and let me enter this secret yet widely visable club.

I’ve often questioned what the heck people are singing to when in the car – and now I know. Its CHOM.

Over the past several weeks, I have been conducting rigerous experiments to confirm these findings.

At every stop light and stop sign. On the 40 past St Jean in the Gridlock, or on Des Anciens Combattants Boulevard in Ste Anne de Bellevue in stopped traffic jams I see them, the members of the secret society belting out tunes, jamming on air guitars, and keeping beat on steering wheel drums.

I thought this station that keeps all armchair (or driver’s seat) disc jockeys in unison was a fable, a story. . .
I see CHOM listeners everywhere. They are many. . . .

I’ve let my hair down, and tuned my air guitar. . . . .I’m in the Spirit to Rock!

And Revisionist history is pretty good, too.

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(For those that want to listen to CHOM live on their computers, simply log onto their website, and choose listen now!)





Going Dutch

12 09 2007

I visit I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? a few times a week, what can I say – I’m a cat lover – so that is how I am justifying all the visits I make to the site. . .Β Β  πŸ™‚

This one made me laugh out loud, and thus I feel the need to share it here. . . . .

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I’m not sure if I’m making a window to my life with posting this one. . .Β  .





Take a Seat?

3 09 2007

Have you ever been out somewhere and so tired on your feet you needed to rest, lean up on a wall or find a place to sit?

Especially in the “big cites” in Europe, you a likely to be greeted by any of the following deterrents.

Found this website by chance during a routine web-‘trolling’, they cleverly called these deterrents the “Anti-Sits”

Technorati Profile





They Think I’m in a Same-Sex Partnership

18 08 2007

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Colin and I were out today doing errands (buying tupperware and a weedwacker to be precise)

We were chatting about how we talk to one another, as I was remarking how even when there is just the two of us, I still use his name as a talk.Β  . . “What do you think about ‘this’ Colin?”Β  “What would you like for dinner Colin” “Colin pick up your socks in the bedroom”. Β  Since he is usually the only one in the room the need for using his name is mute.

I asked him how often he uses my name in a day, and he says not very often.Β  I’m puzzled, why not Colin? I ask him.

Well, saying “My wife” is a heck of a lot easier to explain than “Joey” – everyone thinks I’m in a gay partnership!

We ARE in Montreal, after all. . .Β  .

πŸ™‚





Goggle Image Meme

14 08 2007

https://i1.wp.com/blame.ca/dick/images/2006/08/_intl_en_ca_images_logo.gif

I got tagged by SkyWindows with this new and pretty originalΒ  meme.

The rules of this meme are simple:

1) Go to http://www.Google.com

2) Click on Google images

3) Type in your name and search

4) Repost (w/ a link) the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name. Post multiples if you find a few you like.Β  (See Below)

5) Pass it on to at least 5 other people.

Read the rest of this entry »





Lake Clean

5 08 2007

Colin and I are going to a friends cottage next weekend, and then up to the big nickel to see P&K.

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Power of Schmooze

21 07 2007

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Joeymoggie has the power of Schmooze!!

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In Braintree of All Places

19 07 2007

A local fire department in Mass. did a routine training exercise this past week on what they believe was a vacant house, turns out they broke windows and cut holes into the wrong house.Β  How pissed would you be if that was your house??

Location of this tale? “Braintree” of all places. . .Β  .

Read the rest of this entry »





Monday Melee (July 9 2007)

9 07 2007

Monday Melee

A Fracas Project! You’re invited to participate. Get details and see the participant list here.

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The Monday Melee Questions:

The exercise edition

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

I wish good health was simply about BEING healthy, not trying to obtain someone else’s perfect body. I am, and will always be, “thick”. I cannot be a size “0” without being ill. I could be one rocking size 12 though. Thats an obtainable goal.

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2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Get slim quick schemes. You’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it twice, now your going to hear it again. Healthy diet choices and exercise are the only sure-fire way to lose weight and get in better shape.

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3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

That I’ve let myself go.

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4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Colin. He wants to help me. (And help himself too as a result)

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5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I made the first step today. Colin and I went for an after dinner bike ride. Only about 20 minutes or so, but it felt good to make that first step.

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6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

That it easier to make change.

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Emo Image Thursday

5 07 2007

Emo Image Thursday is a weekly feature at joeymoggie, click the Emo Image Thursday button on the sidebar for more Emo Images. Click the image directly to go to the source.





Monday Melee (July 2 2007)

2 07 2007

Monday Melee

A Fracas Project! You’re invited to participate. Get details and see the participant list here.

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The Monday Melee Questions: WORK EDITION

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

That hard work, effort and drive aren’t always rewarded if you aren’t in the “click” at work.

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2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

That women and men (of the same caliber) aren’t always paid the same for the same job.

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3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

Working holidays. I want a long weekend!

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4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Bobby, His father (who also works with us) passed away over the weekend and he still came into to work to clear out his dad’s things and to sort work out because he will be away for most of the week. Today is a national holiday, and the general office is closed.

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5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I’m good at my job, and even though I don’t always get the recognition and compensation I crave and I’d like for a job well done I know I’d be noticeably missed if I wasn’t here.

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6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

A raise.

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Dangerous new VIRUS!!!!

29 06 2007

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life – Completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

 

Picture Source. (in case you are wondering, that is a picture of the herpes virus. ewwww)





When Your Toilet Gets Clogged

27 06 2007

Β 

OK fine.Β  I ADMIT it.Β  I flushed a *few* paper towels down the toilet.

I was cleaning it at the time.

Anyways, long story short – the toilet clogged and over flowed.

We needed a solution FAST that didn’t include phoning out one of those truly expensive all-night plumbers.

We Googled it.

  1. Empty out as much water from the bowl as you can
  2. Poor a half cup of (good quality) liquid dish soap.Β  Let it sit for 10-15 minutes
  3. Boil a large kettle or pot of water
  4. Poor the boiling water into the bowl.Β  Let sit another 10-15 minutes.
  5. Plunge as usual
  6. Flush and VOILA.Β  The clog will be gone.

As a side note, do not put ‘Liquid Plumber’ into toilets.Β  It says so right on the package, but last night when I made the run for dish soap I bought a bottle, just in case.Β  I didn’t read it until I got home (who reads labels anyways. . .Β  . πŸ˜‰





Sleep with Me

26 06 2007

In the spirit of competition (and to support a fun new meme) I’m doing this meme I grabbed from FRACAS on her blog here.

6 Weird things I do while getting ready to sleep or while sleeping:

1. The tags on my bedding must (I repeat MUST) be on the bottom left hand side. Like the Princess and the Pea I can tell if they aren’t there. I simply can’t sleep.

2. I love my room freezing cold to sleep in. Winter I have the windows open all night, in the summer the air con is pumping madly at night.

3. I sleep naked. Except for the eye mask, and ear plugs I wear. I can’t sleep with any clothes on, even socks. (Sleeping at my mother in laws is dreadful because of this). Even though I have to be naked, I must have something covering me from my feet to my shoulders.

4. I love fresh linens. And spend way more on high tread count sheets than I should.

5. I sleep on my stomach most nights (bad I know) and my legs in a “V”. All three of my cats sleep between my legs in the V.

6. I flip my pillows constantly during the night. I like the feeling of the pillow when it seems cooler and fresher.

Instructions & Notes:
By Shelli : I thought it would be fun to see what things other people do, while getting ready to sleep and/or while sleeping, that is a little odd. I picked the number 6 not because that was all I could come up with for myself, I think I could come up with many more, but because no one ever uses the number 6 for memes. It’s always 5 or 4 or 7, but never 6. What do people have against that number?

This is Fracas‘ friend bluepaintred’s friend Shelli’s first meme. (did you get that??) The meme suggests tagging 6 people. (I’m choosing not to tag anyone, but feel free to take this meme yourself and tag as many people as you choose.)

picture source