Funny News Headlines

14 06 2007

  1. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
  2. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  3. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  4. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  5. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
  6. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  7. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  8. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  9. Farmer Bill Dies in House
  10. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  11. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
  12. Stud Tires Out
  13. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  14. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  15. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
  16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
  17. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  18. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  19. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  20. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  21. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
  22. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  23. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  24. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  25. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  26. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  27. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  28. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
  29. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  30. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
  31. Include your Children when Baking Cookies
  32. War Dims Hope for Peace
  33. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  34. Eye Drops off Shelf
  35. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  36. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  37. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  38. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  39. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
  40. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  41. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  42. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84
  43. Steals Clock, Faces Time
  44. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
  45. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  46. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
  47. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  48. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  49. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  50. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  51. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
  52. Air Head Fired
  53. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
  54. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  55. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board





6 responses

14 06 2007

i like #46
make the punishment fit the crime!

not as funny as #45 though

14 06 2007

I liked 55. . . .


16 06 2007

45 has gotta be my favourite cos I used to be a teacher – until I saw the error of my ways, did rehab and got a new job with less hassle and more pay!

16 06 2007

I could never be a teacher myself, but I appreciate people who can. 🙂

8 10 2009

numbers 3, 4, an 5 are my favorites

28 07 2010
Me myself and i...

I lab dEm ol!haha,fani,fani

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