Hepped Up on Goofballs

16 05 2007

Last night we had Scott over for a wonderful Adonis Steak BBQ, and a little Guitar Hero battle.

Scott was telling us about his girlfriend’s evil cat, so we decided to give Scott some of our Premium cat nip to mellow out the devil cat.

We put it in a little snack-sized zip-lock baggie.  We were laughing about the fact that if Scott got stopped by the cops on his drive back into the city and they found the baggie, he’d surely get in shit (it was totally more than for personal use, if you know what I mean)

We put the baggie on the counter and forgot about it as we dined on wonderfully prepared steak, baked potatos, grilled asparagus. . . .  .

We retired to the basement for some all out battle of the bands in Guitar Hero, then we hear a small crash of a plate hitting the floor and a mad scramble of paws and claws along the wood floors.

Scott and I didn’t think much of it, its a common sound in our house and Colin was upstairs at the time.

About 10 minutes later Scott went upstairs to get Colin (it was his turn to play Thunderkiss 65 on Hard).

Scott discovered 3 Slothy Bob Marley-esque mellowed cats lounging in the middle of the dinning room with a bag of the good stuff ripped and strewn across the floor.  I can just imagine the conversations the three of them were having, I’m sure there was some Bevis and Butthead “huuuhuuuu” laughing among them.

(Not one of my cats – but it sets a picture for the scene. . . hahaha)

Quickly after they were discovered they decided to become super-active and run up and down the stairs like mad fools.  Chasing each other, trying to nip each other’s tails.  There was quite a few little scraps and hiss fits.  In the immortal words of the Simpsons, they were certainly ‘Hepped up on Goofballs’

I thought given the antics, perhaps I should feed them their evening meal, this was to ensure they didn’t get the ‘munchies’ later.

They acted the fool for the remainder of the evening.  And I got the stern talking to from Colin reminding me that I shouldn’t ‘give’ the cats ‘nip in such high dosages.

I kept trying to tell him that they’d simply helped themselves.

Needless to say my moggies got locked out of the bedroom last night. . .  .hopefully they are sleeping off the trip right now and I have normal & well behaved moggies when I get home.

No more ‘nip for a while.


Hepped up on Goofballs reminds me of Ralph Wiggum, which in turn reminds me of his famous saying “my cats breath smells like cat food”

So with that in mind, here are a ton of famous Ralph sayings for a little Wednesday morning giggle. . . . .

Ralph Wiggum-isms

“I bent my wookey”.

“Hi,Supernintendo Chalmers”.
“I dress myself”.
“I ate the purple berries”.

“Ralph-He steps on the clutch and the toilet goes flush,hail to the..
Principal Skinner-SHUT UP!!”

“Me fail english?That’s umpossible!”

“My face is on fire!”

“Your going to heaven”.

“Umm…Mrs Hoover,theres a dog in the vent”.

“I’m a boy!”

“Chocolate Microscopes!?”

“My cat’s breath smells like cat food”.

“When I grow up,I’m going to Bovine Uniersity”.

“What’s a battle?”

“Somebody took my juice money!”

“He’s gonna smell like hotdogs”.

“When the Doc. said I didn’t have worms anymore,that was the happiest day of my life”.

“Daddy,these rubber pant’s are hot”.

“Look Daddy,a whale egg!”Ralph: “Yay! Practice stab!” (and he stabbed himself)
Moe: “Oh boy, did I bet on the wrong horse.”

Ralph: Daddy, how come you’re not at work today?
Chief Wiggum: How come you’re not at school today?
Ralph: My teacher said she’s tired of trying.
Chief wiggum: Me too son, me too…

(earring got caught on his shirt) “Aw I got an ouwie on my ear and I got an ouwie on my shoulder, I got 2 ouwies!”

“How come everyone runs away from me?” (and he starts peeing his pants)

To Lisa: “So, do you like… stuff?”

“My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it! Can I have another one?”

“Ms. Hoover, I ate my glue again.”

“Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office”“Daddy I saw Principal Skinner and Miss Kerbappel in the closet making babies and one baby came out and the baby waved at me.” :rofl:

“I beat the smart kids, I beat the smart kids!” (then he trips and crushed his mint condition Star Wars figurines)

“I’m a totem poll! Hiy’a hiy’a hiy’a!”“This is my angry face, grrrrrr!”

“I’m Ralph” *draws all over himself*

“This tastes like burning.”


“You choo, choo, choose me?”

“Toy store! Toy store! Toy store!”

“Ahhhh! She’s touching my special spot.”

“All your toys are neat and clean, mine are all sticky.”

“I’m learnding.”



5 responses

16 05 2007
Christine Hann

when are you coming to Toronto? June 2 or 9? I realize this post has nothing to do with getting cats high.

16 05 2007

Poor Kitties.

1st weekend of June. . . .(2/3 of June)


16 05 2007

Sweet cat story….I’d probably lock them out too!
I loved your Ralph comments!

16 05 2007

In retrospect with a husband who wasn’t sleeping soundly, I should have locked him out and kept the stoner cats. . . ..

16 01 2008
Mark Rollings

Haha, I have to admit I was at a friends house the other day helping him install some rubber flooring flooring in his new weight room when his cat kept getting in the way. Seriously we had adhesive down on the floor and this damn cat kept walking in it. It was frustrating but he had some catnip handy and we fed it way too much. Needless to say, the cat started acting a little crazy. We eventually had to lock him in the bedroom but it was funny.

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