Our poor Engrish Lanuage

9 04 2007

This is going to be ranty, so if you’d like to avoid all the rantiness – the moral of this story is, Please. . . .

. . . SPEAK CLEARLY and SPEAK AUDIBLY 

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I spend my day talking on the phone, from CEOs and Senior Purchasing Directors for large paintball companies, to stores and fields, to teams, to end users.

Everyone basically.

Let me start off this little rant by saying, I love talking on the phone and conversing with our customers.  I get a lot of complements and positivefeedback from various people about my phone manner.

One of the large segments of phone calls I receive right now is for Sponsorship.  Young, up-and-coming paintball teams seeking assistance.  I wrote earlier about steps a team should take when trying to obtain Sponsorship.  This was written to help teams out, and was not written as a surefire way to get sponsorship.   Its also a bit of a rant in itself.

Anyways. . . .

When I speak to these teams, I go through my spiel, letting the team know their options – and how to get the team’s details to our Sponsorship Department etc.  I’m always polite, courteous and give as much information and assistance that I can.  I do it with a gritted smile and grinding teeth. 

I do not understand how such a proud nation of patriots can spawn children who can’t even speak English as a FIRST language.

I’m not talking about immigrants, or people who speak English as a second or third language – these people have the right to be less than perfect in their verbal skills

 . . . . I’m talking about the 12 year olds from some thick accented state, who speak in “shizzle speak” or “ebonics” slurring and mumbling their words while speaking very quietly in a crowed room or playground, saying “uhhhh” or “yoooo” between every word.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU.

Don’t be angry at me when I ask you to repeat yourself.  I don’t understand what you are saying.

No need to be rude when I ask you to say that again.  I don’t understand the words you are speaking

I don’t advise yelling at me.  Your the one speaking in some bastard English, that people can’t be expected to understand
At time poor English can be funny, the written word in my opinion.  Think of the website www.engrish.com, (but again we are talking about people who don’t speak English as a first language. . . .  )  The way these kids speak is no laughing matter,  its downright appauling.

 Who teaches kids to speak like this? Surely it can’t be allowed in the classroom.  Or is it???  I can just see it now:

Teacher : “Yo, De Von, is Shizzle like uhhh a verb, or izzzz it a noun, aiiiiight?

I remember when I taught dancing and the little kids (I generally taught 4-6 year olds) would tell me a story, and they would say

“me and my friend. . . .” .  I would correct them, “My Friend and I. . . . “

I wouldn’t let them continue until they corrected themselves.  By the end of the year, I could have semi-adult conversations with the six year olds.  Why talk down to them?

I will be the first to admit my spelling and grammar are sh*t and my vocabulary is definatly not Ivy League – but people do not question or have trouble understanding me.

When I took my first job when I lived in England, I re-learned how to say words, and how to fully pronounce words out so that the people I talked to on the phone everyday understood what the heck I was saying.  It was only fair and just that I did that.

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How did our kids end up speaking like this?  How can we change it or is the damage done.

Is there a dictionary, or translator I can use so I can understand what the heck these kids are saying to me?


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4 responses

9 04 2007
Markk

You could try Dunstan Baby Language …

9 04 2007
Joey

See that one is hard to do over the phone.

I do have to say that the universal symbol for “milk” kinda creeps me out a bit too though.

Good suggestion though. . . perhaps if we had video phones. Of course that would then mean I’d have to do my hair all nice everyday, and put on more than a thin coat of mascara and lip gloss.

Scratch that. . . crappy idea. . . hahahahahah

9 04 2007
Penseroso

Speaking properly is key to being treated with respect. It’s right up there with dressing properly. It works every time.

On the other hand, speak like an ignoramus, dress like a slob and act like a savage, and see how you’re treated wherever you go.

10 04 2007
Joey

Good points!

These kids are asking for hundreds to thousands of dollars of free merchandise when they call. . .

I guess its true, you can never have a second chance to make a first impression.

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